What If?
by Craig O Mac
Summary: My take on what happens after graduation. Contains implied Jack/Eric slash. First time author, so be kind!


Name: Prologue

Series: Untitled

Rating: PG-13 for this part, for male "relations"

Summary: After graduation, Jack & Rachel are going to join the peace core. Eric offers them a ride to the airport. Feelings are unearthed.

This is my first fic, so if you wanna flame, go ahead. If you wanna constructively criticise, go ahead. I need all the tips I can get.

Finally, this is for Wendy, who helped me unearth the writer hidden away.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Disney owns everything, except the songs. I don't know who does, but I'll give a rundown of the artists: U2 – 'With or Without You', Better Midler – 'Wind Beneath My Wings', Lonestar – 'I'm Already There' & Bic Runga – 'Sway'

Author's Note: This is will act as the prologue for a much bigger story I'm co-authoring with Wicked Wonder. Stay tuned for updates!

Eric woke with a start, sweat dripping from his brow, as he had almost every day for the last 17 years. He reasoned with himself that the only benefit to the nightmares was that at least he never slept in. But on the flip side, he hadn't had a full nights sleep in years. But that was all a moot point, as today he had a reason to be up so early.

He glanced over at the digital alarm, its luminous green display informing him that it was 4:34am and that he didn't need to be up for another 2 hours. He glanced out the window from his bed, the bright orange glow from the streetlights illuminating the cityscape.

He tossed the covers aside, swung his legs around to the floor, and gently stepped out of the warm bed. Gingerly making his way across the floor, he reached for the light switch. Once at his destination, he decided to leave his room in darkness for the time being. He exited the bedroom and headed for the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door, using the light from inside to see what he was doing. Jack and Rachel were leaving today, to join the Peace Core, and who knew how long it would be until they would get a proper nights rest. The last thing Eric wanted to do was waken them up hours before they had to. He grabbed the kettle, making sure it was full, a cup and a jar of instant coffee from the cupboard. After making sure he had a secure hold on everything, he closed the refrigerator door over and slowly made his way back to the bedroom. Once inside, he sat everything on his desk and flipped on the light switch. He plugged the kettle into the socket next to the nightstand, and as he waited for it to boil, he tipped half of the coffee jar into the empty mug.

As he waited for the kettle to boil, he sat down on the end of the bed, thought creeping through his mind. The same two words rushed through his brain at a hundred miles an second: "What if?". The kettle clicked signifying the boiling process was complete and as he walked over he mumbled to himself "What if?".

"Rachel, get a move on!!!!!!!" Jack bellowed from the doorway. They had a half hour drive in front of them, and only forty minutes until they were due to book in at the airport. They had said their goodbyes to most of the gang the night before, with Eric being the only person still to get a farewell. "Rachel, we're gonna leave without you!!!!!!!!" Jack shouted, hoping that constant nagging *might* have some kind of effect.

"I'm almost ready! Take the bags down to the car!! I'll be there in two minutes!" the reply came from the bathroom.

"Eric's already taken them down. Twenty minutes ago! And he's been sitting in the car ever since! So move it!" Jack always felt that subtlety was one of his major failings. Rachel stumbled from the steam filled bathroom, hair falling into place, with a damp towel still around her neck. "About time too!" Jack scolded. "Now, unless you feel like missing the flight, grab your jacket and get downstairs."

"Okay mom!" Rachel sniped from the couch, where she was putting on her shoes. "You got the tickets?"

"In my hand luggage" Jack replied.

"Passports?"

"Hand luggage."

"Keys for this place?"

"Yours are on the kitchen worktop. I wanna keep hold of mine. For old times sake." Jack answered back.

"That's fair enough. Well, that's me ready. Time to say our goodbyes to this place, I guess. Amazing that we've been here so long, but it feels like only yesterday that we all met each other." Rachel observed.

"Well, as the saying goes, 'Time flies when you're having fun'. And we sure have had some fun here."

"And I'm pretty sure we can have some fun in the Peace Corps too."

"Only problem with that is Eric won't be with us."

"Eric's a big boy. I'm sure he'll be fine. And besides, he's got Cory, Topanga and Shawn to look after him," Rachel pointed out. "Now, are we going or what?"

"Let's go." And with that, Jack and Rachel turned and left the apartment that held so many memories, good and bad, forever.

"Eric! I was listening to that!" Rachel yelled from the back seat, having been cut off from her impromptu performance.

"I'm driving, and being abandoned. I get to pick the music. Anyway, we're here now."

The car pulled into the short term car park, and the gang quickly found a space. The three friends quickly exited the car, with Eric and Jack going to the trunk while Rachel went to find a luggage trolley. Jack sighed.

"I can't believe I'm gonna be gone for so long. That I'm not gonna see my friends for months, if not years. Everything just feels so weird."

"Well, you're going to get leave sooner or later, and you're gonna send at least one letter a month. Otherwise I'm gonna track you down and go medieval on your booty thang!"

Rachel returned with a trolley to break up the chat ushering the boys to load up the luggage. They all walked silently over to the terminal building, taking their time. Once inside, they referred to the screens and found which desk they had to check in at.

"Well, I guess this is where it gets emotional," Eric commented. Rachel leaned over and gave him a rib crushing hug, while attempting to control the sobs that were building up in her throat. "Come on Rach, you'll be back before you know it. Then you'll be kicking yourself for getting so teary."

"I'm sorry." Rachel let go of the bear-like grip she had on Eric. "I'm just gonna miss you so much," she commented, her voice threatening to break with tears. She walked off to the trolley, still trying to compose herself.

"So, man, I guess this is goodbye," Jack said, his own voice dripping with emotion. 

"Not goodbye. Just 'Hasta Luego, mi amigo'". Jack chuckled, pulling Eric into a death grip. "Come on dude. You're gonna get me emotional!" Eric claimed, all the while returning the bone crushing embrace. After a few minutes, Rachel intruded.

"Sorry guys, but we have to get a move on. The flights almost finished boarding."

Slowly, Jack and Eric released each other until only hands made contact. Jack's hands broke away first and as he slowly began to turn, Eric spotted something in his eyes. Something he recognised, from staring at his own reflection for hours on end, it was a look of…..

"We'll write soon, and we'll be back before you know it!" Rachel once again interjected. Jack's gaze quickly broke of before Eric could confirm what he had seen. "As much as I hate to, we have to go. I love you Eric!" Rachel turned and began to push the trolley towards the check in desk.

"We'll be back real soon man. Take care of yourself." Jack turned and walked to join Rachel. And Eric was left alone, watching the man he loved walk away.

As Eric pulled out of the parking lot, he knew deep within himself that he couldn't bear to go back to the apartment, alone. At least not yet. He took the decision to drive around, trying to get his thoughts in order.

"Well, I guess some backing music could help clear the old brain out," he mumbled to himself. As soon as he turned the radio on, his heart twanged. "With or Without You" played on the radio, and as the chorus filled the car, Eric immediately thought of Jack. He punched the dial, and still found no assistance for his broken heart.

"Wind Beneath My Wings", "I'm Already There" and "Sway" all tore at his heart, making it feel even worse. Concluding that he would find no solace in the radio, he turned it off. He drove around the city, his thoughts eating him up, consuming him.

"I should have just told him," he said aloud. "I should have told him that I'm in love with him!"

Eric pulled into the parking lot of the apartment block, turned off the engine and sighed. He opened the door, locking the car on his way then headed into the building. After reaching the elevator, he pushed the button and the awaited the arrival of the car. Once it appeared, he entered and punched the number for his floor.

On the ride up, he reflected on the emptiness that now filled him. Not only had he lost two of his best friends, but he had also lost possibly the last chance to tell the love of his life how he truly felt about him. He leaned against the side of the elevator, a lump swelling up in his throat. He mentally continued to berate himself.

"I should have told him," he thought angrily. "I should just have told him. Next time I see him, he'll probably be married or something. Then it'll be far too late. At least just now I've got a shot. Aww, who am I kidding? Jack would never feel the same for me. Eric Matthews, you are without doubt, one of the biggest idiots walking God's Green Earth!" 

With the end of the elevator ride also came the end of the mental chiding he was giving himself. He departed as the doors slid open and walked slowly towards the apartment door. Reaching into the pocket of his jeans, his hand emerged with the keys. He placed the key in the lock and, to no one in particular, said aloud "Well, here's to the first of many lonely days."

As he entered the apartment, he could sense he wasn't alone. Although he couldn't explain it, he knew that he wasn't by himself. Then a voice came from the opposite end of the room.

"Hey there stranger, you just gonna stand there with your jaw on the floor?" Jack emerged triumphantly from the bedroom, much to the shock and surprise of Eric.

"But you…. I just…. airport…" Eric stuttered, not quite sure what was happening.

"Eric, there's something I had to tell you. I don't think I would've been able to live with myself if I hadn't. I just had to find out the truth for myself," Jack paused, breathed deeply and continued. "Eric, I think I'm in love with you."

Eric's whole world span around at a million miles an hour. 'He's in love with me?' was the only thing that Eric could process at that moment in time. His head began to go into a daze, the room flew off in all directions, and before he knew it, his world was turning black as all the blood rushed from his head. 

Jack immediately ran over to the falling Eric, catching him gently in his arms and slowly lowering him to the ground. As Eric fell back to reality, and back into consciousness, his eyes fluttered open and all he could see was Jack, staring straight down at him.

"Eric, are you okay?" Jack asked in a panic. "You didn't bang your head on the way down did you? Look, just lie still until you feel normal again." The fear and panic in Jack's voice almost drowned him. The look on his face was one of worry and a slight hint of guilt. Eric breathed in deeply.

"You really should warn a guy when you're gonna admit your love for him," Eric mused. He slowly began to shift his weight, trying to regain his composure.

"Not something I tend to do a whole lot," Jack replied, reaching out a hand to pull Eric up. As Eric regained his footing, he had a sudden rush of blood to the head, disorienting him. Instead of falling to the ground again, he instead fell forward into Jack's waiting arms. As he once again regained his composure, he realised that Jack was looking straight into his eyes, and Eric himself was looking straight back. Even though Eric had now mastered the use of his legs once again, Jack still held him close.

"I really have to stop falling down as much," Eric commented. "There's gonna be a time when you're not around to catch me."

"Well, I think we should maybe make the most of the time that I am around to catch you."

Both men stood, still looking straight into the eyes, directly into the soul of the other man. Neither man wanted to break away, through fear of the moment ending. They stood there, staring intently into each others eyes, Jack's arms around Eric's waist and Eric's arms around Jack's neck, for nearly five minutes.

Eric eventually realised that sadly they couldn't stay like that forever. Fearing that soon Jack would get bored and break off the embrace, he gently leaned forward. Parting his lips, he leaned closer still, constantly keeping eye contact with Jack, who was beginning to realise what was happening. Soon, both men were mere inches from the others mouth, lips parted in anticipation.

Finally their lips met in a soft, sweet, sensual caress. They continued the kiss for several minutes, tasting each other as though they had never tasted anything before. Their tongues gently exploring every crevice, every nook and cranny in the others mouth. After several minutes, the kiss broke off, both men breathless from the physical and emotional exertion. Still holding onto each other for dear life, Jack raised his head and kissed Eric's brow. He pulled back, and looking straight into Eric's eyes, breathlessly said:

"From now on, I'll always be here to catch you."


End file.
